5 Ways to Raise Your Emotional Temperature

Even though we humans have a vast array of emotions available to us at any given moment, we actually have a select few that govern the overall emotional tone of our lives. This is our emotional set point. While it can move up and down based on circumstantial changes, without any conscious effort, we always level set back. This is known as “hedonic adaptation”. It means we get used to things. We go back to feeling how we usually feel in pretty short order.

Think of a thermostat. You have a temperature that is your normal emotional temperature. We tend to attribute our temperature to our circumstances. This is because most of us don’t know our temperature comes from within us. It was set for us long ago by some combination of genetics and environment and we have just been living there ever since.

This emotional temperature is a filter with which we view the world. The is the Law of Attention. We will notice, pay attention to, and tell stories about things that allow us to continue to live at our set point. You can see this so clearly in other people, right? No matter what happens in their life (good or bad), they are generally the same level of happy, sad, mad, etc.

Interestingly, when we come across someone who seems to have an emotional set point higher than ours, we tend to attribute that to THEIR life circumstances. We think if we had their (insert thing we think will make us feel better), then we would feel better. Nope.

For enneagram sixes these are the top emotions I have seen show up over and over: shame, fear, overwhelm, confusion, irritation, and lack (scarcity). We think it is our circumstances causing these feelings, but it’s our thought and thought stories that cause our feelings. Remember, this is great news! It means we actually have all the power we think we don’t have.

Here are 3 steps for you to being to raise your emotional temperature:

1.Learn to IDENTIFY your dominant feelings: What are your top 3 emotions you experience on a regular basis.

2. Become aware of what you are thinking that is causing the feeling: This is easiest to do using a specific circumstance that you think is causing the feeling. When was the last time you felt confused or fearful. Go to that time and ask yourself what were the thoughts in your head. You will start to see the thought feeling connection.

3. Declare your desire to experience less of what is dominant for you and more of what you want. For me, my dominant emotion was a feeling of scarcity or lack. So now, I work on practicing thoughts that make me feel abundant. I look for evidence of abundance in the world.

4. Notice. Practice. Notice. Practice. Rewiring our brain takes time and practice. Be kind to yourself! Over time you will notice you are seeing things that support the emotions you desire rather than the one you have just been used to experiencing.

5. To get help identifying your top emotions that are keeping your thermostat lower than you’d like, book a free consult with me. I’ll show you your before (where you are now) and your after (where you want to go!) and how to overcome what’s in between.