In my last post I explained how our lizard brain, perfectly designed and extremely powerful, is causing us all kinds of problems in our modern world. Its three pronged approach to keep us safe; seek pleasure, avoid pain and expend as little energy as possible has major negative consequences in our world of quick easy pleasure, mostly emotional pain and a lifestyle in which its easy to avoid expending mental energy (just decide everything is everybody else’s fault!)
We need to override our instinctual tendencies to actually live the lives we desire as sixes. We want lives where we are not plagued with self-doubt, where we can confidently make decisions and stand by them. We want to experience security in our relationships that isn’t based on the other person’s every mood or word. We want to have control over our emotions, so we don’t just react, resist or avoid them. How do we do this?
We need to use our prefrontal cortex to develop a new motivational triad. Brooke Castillo, founder of The Life Coach School teaches that the three strategies we need to employ are: seek growth, embrace discomfort and expend massive effort wisely.
Seek Growth – It is imperative that we consciously choose growth in our lives. It isn’t just a nice hobby or a way to sell books. To thrive in the world today, we have to challenge ourselves to overcome our weaknesses. **Important note** This does NOT mean we are not inherently good enough and 100% lovable as we are. In fact, it is the true knowledge we are 100% lovable that allows us to truly evolve and transform.
Embrace discomfort – The truth is that growth creates discomfort. The problem is that our lizard brain experiences any discomfort as a message that WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! Six brains seem to have this instinct on overdrive. That is OK! We can do hard things!
Expend massive effort wisely – When we are doing work that will move our lives forward, develop our weakness, improve our relationships or any other goal we might have, we have to challenge our brains desire to do very little. We need to decide what our work is to do and do it until we get the results we desire.
Which of these three seems the easiest for you? The most challenging? I’d love to hear!